Single Parent...

I am feeling VERY alone these days. Tyler has been working in Swift Current ALL week long. I miss him terribly and I am coming to my wits end. He is putting in very long hours working 2 jobs. The promotion he got as Area Supervisor hasn't turned out like I had planned. One of the oil rig operators in Swift broke his collar bone a few weeks ago and will be on disability for several months. So needless to say Tyler has to cover his area working on the rig. So he is doing double duty. He is tired and wants to be home with us, and we want him here with us! It must be draining and tiring for him just like it is for me I am sure.

Taking care of the kids and the whole house by myself is getting me down. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed with all of it. Tomorrow is garbage day so that is yet one more thing on my list I have to do. My flower pots have been neglected and have been suffering for this heat. I have to admit that the dog has gone without food for a day or two as well. So many thing on my plate, I just can't seem to get everything done. I find myself looking forward to the kids bedtime. A time when I can finally unwind and have some peace and quiet. I can't count how many times in a day that I hear the word "Mom, I need..." Somedays those words are music to my ears, and others they aren't. Am I a terrible mother for thinking that? Am I terrible to countdown the hours, minutes, seconds until my children fall asleep? I guess I am just feeling very heavy laden with all the responsibility of being a "single" parent for awhile. I know that this will pass, but when is the question?

While Tyler has been gone it really has made me realize just how much he does for me and the boys. From taking Tyson downtown with him to do an errand, to taking out the garbage faithfully every Monday when he is home, that is such a help. I miss those few extra minutes of sleep in the morning when Tyler gets up with Carson to give him a bottle. Little things like that really make a difference to me, and in those simple acts it really shows me how much I am loved by him. I sure don't take for granted all that he does for me. I hope that I can better show him my appreciation for all that he does. He is the hardest worker I know, and the most dedicated person to his faith and family. I love him, and count my many blessings everyday for God bringing him into my life when I needed him!

My heart goes out to all those women who have no choice but to be a single mother. How they do it everyday is beyond all my comprehension. To have to go to work to support their family, and then come home and have all the household responsibilities in my mind is more than one person can muster by themselves. But so many women do this, and are succeeding in raising wonderful families. They are courageous and strong, when I am sure they have many "alone" times. I am thankful and very fortunate that my "alone" times are short and far between.

I Have Been M.I.A. Now I'm BACK!

Sorry I have been MIA for awhile. We have been busy camping and playing outside, and I have to admit that we have been napping and watching WAY to much t.v. It has been SO hot outside that I just can't bare to go out there in the afternoons. So needless to say Tyson has been able to watch more t.v. and play the computer more than usual. Why haven't I been scrapbooking while being inside? I don't even know the answer to that. I guess I haven't been in the scrapping mood lately. Come fall I will hit it full force again. I will have all those fun summer pictures to do lo's for.

We spent last weekend camping at the Oldman. We went with our good friends the Cook's and Douglas's. There were more kids than adults, which can prove to be challenging, especially when the men leave for 6 hours and go fishing, but we had a great time. It was so fun to play cards all day long in between chasing kids all over and making sure they weren't falling into the raging mountain river that was FREEZING cold. All in the all the kids were good and played well together. Thank goodness though for the outdoor toys I brought. They were a lifesaver, even if they did take up the whole inside of the trailer to bring them. As all the adults were sitting in front of the fire, after ALL the kiddos were finally in bed, we decided that camping is great and these are memories we are making, but man is it a lot of work, but so worth it! I took some really cute pictures of the kids playing in the river stripped down to their underwear. I will share them later as I left the camera in the trailer.

The only downer that we encountered was that the fridge in our trailer went on the fritz. Before it was freezing everything and now it isn't even getting cold. What a PAIN! We managed though to put our perishables in other fridges and we made out okay. Now the 1978 trailer is in the shop getting fixed for our next camping expedition. I guess that is what you get with a 26 year old trailer.

My sisters, mom and I went to Phantom of the Opera on Thursday night. WOW is all I can say. It totally exceeded all of my expectations. The music was so beautiful, the sets amazing, and the acting perfect. It was totally worth all the $$ I spent to be able to go. I had my niece Brooklyn come and watch the kids for me while I went to Calgary. I know it was a very long day for her, but the kids loved having her watch them and she did an awesome job. She was able to stay for a few extra days and I spoiled her while she was here. It was SO fun to have a girl around. I did her hair and makeup and I just loved being girlie with her. Plus I enjoyed her company SO much as Tyler has been working ALL week long in Saskatchewan.

On Monday we are getting an exchange student from Japan. She will be here for 9 days. I think it will be a fun experience. I am looking forward to it. I am hoping to take lots of pictures so that I can make a mini book for her after she leaves. I hope she enjoys her stay while in Canada. I really hope my kids behave and don't drive her totally crazy.

Exhausted!

I am totally exhausted. The morning always seems to come WAY too soon. You would think I would have gotten enough sleep, I usually get 8-10 hours. But still I am tired. Most days I have a nap when the kids nap, and yet I wake up and feel tired. What is wrong with me?? I just feel BLAH... I would love to do a body cleanse but I don't know what one to do. If ANYONE who read my blog knows of anything I could try, I would love the info. Anyway...I'm off to have a NAP!

Attack of the ANTS!

We have lived in our house now for 6 years. I USED to brag that our house has been virtually "pest" free. No spiders or ants or another creepy crawly things. Well that has changed! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Lately I have noticed teeny tiny ants crawling around. Today as I sat down to the computer I noticed a trail of them crawling into the speakers. It totally grossed me out! Out came the RAID, and zap they were dead. Tyler also found some in the front entry way. YUCK! I know they are so tiny and very harmless, but there is just something about things that crawl around and get in to the smallest of places. I will be keeping the can of RAID very close near by in case I see another invasion happening.

The "MEAN" Kids..

We just got home form a few days away camping. Our little family of 4 loves to spend time together and we especially enjoy going camping. There is something about pulling your "home away from home" behind you in search of the perfect spot to park for the night. We decided to try out Little Bow Provincial park. The campground was situated at the bottom of a long hill, it had lush vegetation with many mature trees and bushes. It is a boaters paradise, with a huge reservoir to boat on. Needless to say that there were so many campers there that I felt like we were in a full parking lot with trees. You weren't secluded from your neighbors and this is something that Tyler and I both didn't really like. We made the best of it anyway and had a good time, although early the next morning we packed up and headed to another campsite in search of something a little more private.

Tyson is a very personable child. He isn't afraid to talk to strangers, although lately he keeps asking me if these people are strangers and if they are kidnappers. Yes I have tried to drill it in his little head that there are some bad people in the world and we have to be catious. Anyway, there were a bunch of kids climbing a tree that was by our campsite. Naturally Tyson wanted to play with them. The kids were a few years older than him, which didn't bother him, but seemed to bother them. Tyson of course was too short to climb the tree without our help, so the other kids kept telling him he was too small. They were calling him a baby, and saying that he probably still wore diapers. Meanwhile I am taking this all in and am feeling heart broken that some little kid would treat my child that way. Tyson continued to try and play with them, and they kept making fun of him because he still had training wheels on his bike. The kids were also using language that I don't allow Tyson to say. He told them they were saying bad words and they shouldn't say them anymore. The older kids said they were allowed to say swears because the were 8! As I sat there and listened more intently on the situation my heart kept breaking. At such a VERY young age these children were already being unkind. Tyler told me not to do anything, that it didn't seem to be bothering Tyson. Well it was bothering ME! Finally I couldn't take it any longer and went over and told the kids that if they couldn't be nice then they couldn't play together. I took Tyson aside and told him that he couldn't play with those naughty kids ( a word that I should have used with them because from then on Tyson kept referring to the kids as the "naughty kids." LOL), that they weren't being nice and they weren't saying nice words. He asked me if they hated him, of course I told him NO! He then told me all the unkind things the kids were saying to him. How could my heart not break for the way they were treating him. I know, I am a very over protective mother. I know that I won't be able to keep him from unkind kids all of his life. But I can teach him to be kind to everyone. This is a quality that I want both my boys to acquire. It reminded me of a primary song, and I sang it to Tyson. The words are:

Jesus said love everyone,

Treat them kindly too.

When your heart is filled with love,

Others will love you!

How true these words are. We MUST be kind and tolerant at all times to others. Deep down I know that the "mean" kids didn't intent to harm or hurt Tyson. But on the other hand, we never now when something we might say may offend or hurt another person. We MUST think before we speak. Remember the golden rule,

Do unto others as we would have done unto ourselves.

A Book You MUST Read!

I have been so naive to mental illness. I have very little knowledge about the disease. I have never know anyone personally, or had anyone in my family who has suffered with this disease that takes over your mind and body. I have heard about "crazy" people, people who aren't right in their mind. I have even seen people act out in ways that aren't "normal." To me it has always been something of a mystery, something that I hope I would NEVER experience, and something that I have always put at the back of my mind. I guess you would say I had the typical stereotypes that others have about the disease of mental illness. All that has changed now thanks to the author of this book, someone I know not very personally but whom I am an acquaintance with. This remarkable book called "These Painted Wings," will change your view of mental illness. I am thankful for HER courage to tell her story. After reading this memoir of her life I marveled that the person I know could have been the person she wrote about. She is now a complete polar opposite than the person she writes about in her book. I too am a believer that this illness can be beaten, that people who suffer with this illness can become healthy, that their mind and body can be reclaimed for themselves and they can live a normal happy life.

As I sit and write this entry I am saddened because someone in my family has been diagnosed with a mental illness. She is seeking treatment in a hospital. After reading "These Painted Wings," I now have hope for her, and want her to read the book as well. At times the book may seem dark, and very sad, but the outcome is so very very hopeful, an ending that couldn't have been written better if it were a Hollywood movie. And to think that it is a REAL life outcome, a life full of miracles, hope and much healing. I encourage ALL to read it, even if you don't suffer from a mental illness, or even know of someone (like I did), it will change your mind, make you very empathetic, and enlighten you on the subject of this disease.

My Little Sea Turtle...

The past week Tyson was involved in swimming lessons. This was his 3rd year, and he proved to have more confidence in the water than the year before. He is fearless when it comes to water, which is a good and bad thing. He is quite short for his age, and was the shortest in his class. The teacher had a little dock that would be placed in the water for the kids to stand on because they couldn't touch the bottom of the pool. My little dare devil proceeded to walk off the dock and try to swim on his own without a life jacket. With his head barley above water and his cries for help I think he realized that sometimes it is best to obey the rules that have been set for us. Teacher Megan told the kids to stay on the dock when they didn't have a life jacket on, but my child always pushes the limit, and because he did he found out what the consequence of his actions would be.

Often times in life we tend to "push" the limits or boundaries that have been set. We speed in our car because we are running behind or we think the limit is too slow. As I reflect on my life I can recall many times when I pushed the rules, bent them to my own devices, or even broke them completely. And time and time again I paid for my mistakes. Growing up I was they type of teenager who had to "learn for myself." I could be told a thousand times but until I found out for myself I wasn't a believer. Sometimes the actions that I took were harmless, and sometimes not. Now looking at my 2 beautiful, vibrant boys I wonder what decisions they will make in life. The world is a much more cruel, dangerous place for them than it was for me, and that wasn't very long ago. I am scared of who they might become, of the friends they might choose, and of the choices they might make. How can I protect them? Should I keep them looked up in the house under my watchful eye all the time. Surely this isn't very realistic. How can I be assured that they will follow the principles that Tyler and I have tried to teach them? I have come to the conclusion ,and a peaceful feeling that if Tyler and I apply the principles and teachings we were taught and with much prayer and trust in the Lord out children will make right choices and turn out to be good people, ones who love their family, have faith and trust in a greater power than themselves, who are good citizens, and who will make us proud of all the hard work of raising them.

Today in relief Society we were taught about the importance of keeping a journal. I have done this on and off throughout my adolescence and into adult hood. I am happy to have found a love for blogging. I type so much faster than I can write, and this encourages me to write more often and more when I do write. I have marveled at those who have so diligently kept a personal record of their life and the events that have taken place in their everyday ordinary life. I have loved reading over my grandparents journals, how I have learned from their struggles, and their accomplishments. I know that more times than not when I write it is just the everyday mundane goings on of my life. But every once in awhile something very special and life changing will happen. If I am in the habit of writing the everyday happenings I will be more than like to record those precious memories that I would never want to forget. For the lesson today I am thankful for the reminder of the importance of keeping a journal for my posterity.

Home Sweet Home...

I feel like I haven't been home in a LONG time. We just got back from almost a week of holidays. It was so fun to finally go camping. Tyson has been waiting and waiting to go, and finally we did. Every year we plan a family camping holiday with my family. Each year we have gone somewhere different. Most years it has rained, which put a real damper on things. But this year I am happy to report that we had NO rain! The weather was beautiful! We enjoyed quading and taking in the glorious mountains that surrounded us.

Here are a few pictures:

My sister caught this HUGE frog. The kids loved holding it, and Tyson was sad that we didn't bring anything with us to take the frog home in.

A little side note, the tiny garden frog that Tyson caught at his Grandpa Pilling's house awhile ago..sadly died yesterday. :(

Both of my boys had so much fun being outside able to roam where every they wanted, as long as we could still see them. I believe that letting them explore increases their independence and self confidence to do things on their own. Often times I see these mothers whom I call "hover mothers." They don't let their kids venture off on their own to explore. They are always within reaching distance. I have to wonder if they are doing their children a service or if later on it will be something that will turn out to be detrimental to their character. There is a fine line between hovering and being to lenient. I like to think that I am somewhere in between.